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A Hattrick Poem

Written by JPtheBean

A poem written for Hattrick's 15th anniversary, congratulations to Johan and the boys! Long may it continue..

There's an online game to which I'm addicted,
Where I'm a football manager, ruled by statistics.
I play against other gaffers likewise afflicted
This yarn's about 'Hattrick' if I may inflict it?

'Outwit your opponents', that's the aim of the game:
You get imaginary players with obscure surnames,
If your line-up's not great you can transfer or train,
And of course, if you lose, the match engine's to blame.

It's day one of the league and my orders are king:
“Match of the Season boys, Attack on the Wing!”
The fans will be dancing in the streets if I win,
But if I don't, well confidence will be right in the bin.

It's a great day for football and the crowd is a spectacle,
Just watch my youth pull, his playmaking formidable,
There's a goal for my forward! His skill is technical,
That's two more! A Hattrick! This guy is invincible!

After the game, I check my league, form and backing.
The team is furious, but top scorer? That's cracking!
There's a bloke in the forum who's luck is lacking,
He's bemoaning his loss - “Screw Counter Attacking :(”

The coming week has got so much in store:
Youth team's got a game, but the reports will be poor,
Setting next weeks lineups is another chore,
There's training updates too; Wow skill pops galore!

I'm a football manager who studies team tactics,
One day my team will reach the top.
There's an online game to which I'm addicted,
What's the name of my game? It's called Hattrick!